Sunday, November 29, 2020

Q NOTES, DAY 259: Descending Into Madness

Sundays are always slow days when it comes to interesting news, which is probably why Cheez Doodle's phone interview on Fox News with a bimbo named Maria Bartiromo is getting so much attention. The chat is only worth mentioning because we got a glimpse of Cheezy inching toward complete insanity while it was happening.

Cheezy has been attacking Fox News since election night, when they were the first network to call Arizona for Biden. He's been urging his zombie army to abandon Fox News and watch One America News Network (OANN) instead. I've read that OANN is like FNC without all the objective, unbiased reporting (if you can imagine that). Cheezy knows more people watch FNC, so he's forced to crawl to them if he wants his message of the day to get the widest possible TV exposure. 

Wanting to destroy Fox News while simultaneously realizing he can't survive without them must be a terrible dilemma for an asshole who convinced himself he's the top dog in every transaction. Maybe the conflict caused him to suggest he'll continue fighting to have the election overturned for six more months, and that gaining House seats and holding the Senate majority proves the election was rigged to cheat him personally (since other (R) candidates won). He ranted about "massive dumps" (referring to ballots, not bowel movements), then implied that Booger Bill Barr, the DOJ, the FBI, and all those state court judges are part of a conspiracy to withhold the justice he deserves as the victim of the biggest election fraud scandal in history.

Cheez Doodle wants his grievances presented before the U.S. Supreme Court so much he can taste it, but maybe worries that a 5-4 vote against him would make it harder to keep those donations pouring in. He's already losing followers on Twitter, the people who aren't as insane as he is.

This is a side of life Cheezy's never had to cope with until now.

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Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.