Friday, April 15, 2011

Capitol city comedy

The legislature has apparently realized they were depressing hell out of most Texans with their dicking around in Austin, so they quit messing with stuff like education funding and voter ID laws, and got down to some serious legislating. The decision to eliminate slower speed limits at night is brilliant, and should have been implemented sooner. The reason Texas is struggling with its budget is simple to explain: too many goddamned poor people. We need to encourage the worthless, non-productive bastards to get on the highway in their rusty, rattletrap jalopies with the bald tires, worn-out brakes, and shot suspensions and drive like fucking maniacs. That should help to thin the goddamned herd.

Then if fewer people are breaking the speed limit, we can cut back on traffic cops and highway patrol troopers. Plus, faster driving day and night should stimulate the demand for gasoline and raise prices to the point the oil companies can turn a little profit for a change and boost the economy. I'm telling you, it's a fucking no-brainer and the Rep who wrote the bill should get a raise.

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KEY FACT

Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.