Friday, April 6, 2012

The Fire Ant Analogy

I have several false identities that I use at online newspaper sites when I'm trolling. If my time is otherwise unoccupied, I might spend a few minutes posting comments on news features, letters to the editor, or blog entries. The only reason I comment is to provoke negative responses from as many right-wing assholes as possible. I enjoy that as much as I enjoy knocking down fire ant mounds.

In Texas, conservatives are like fire ants... they're everywhere you look, and they're a goddamned nuisance. They serve no discernible useful purpose, and they cause a lot of fucking damage if they aren't controlled. The difference between conservative Republicans and fire ants is that I can poison the ants without being arrested.

When killing off a fire ant colony isn't feasible, such as while I'm out walking, I try to kick the shit out of any mounds I pass on the sidewalk. It pisses the ants off and definitely disrupts their routine. Bottom line: Fire ants are like Republicans -- if you can't exterminate 'em, you can at least irritate them for a little while.

No comments:

Post a Comment

KEY FACT

Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.