Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Other Rick

Rick Santorum, henceforth known as S-Rick to distinguish him from P-Rick, is no longer The Other Rick. Based on his showing in Iowa, he's now Big Rick, and Perry is The Other Rick. It looks like P-Rick will stay in the race indefinitely, since he realized that he can be out cruising the highways for months at a time, and nobody in Texas misses his sorry ass.

Santorum is one of those weird religious zealots who believe that abortion, school prayer and gay marriage are the most important issues facing America today. He runs as a "family values" candidate, meaning his goal is to make his particular religious beliefs the law of the land. As a family values guy, he appeals to the 50 percent of Republicans who are hardcore evangelunicals and dominate the party even more than the tea people. The big wheels in the religious right-wing hierarchy are getting together to work out a plan to consolidate behind an anti-Romney candidate. As a Mormon, Mitts is viewed as a member of a Satanic cult and can never be allowed near the presidency lest he convert America to his evil ways.

It has been easy to ignore S-Rick since he's spent most of the campaign thus far barely casting a shadow while the publicity went to Bachmann, Perrito, Sugar Cain and Gingrich. Now he's starting to accumulate a little clout because he's just as fanatical as Bachmann (without appearing insane) and Perrito (but able to express an articulate thought). The big cheeses in the evangelunacy visualize a large majority of Americans fighting for spots at the head of the line so they can vote for this asshole.

One of the bedrock principles of my political philosophy is separation of church and state. I don't begrudge the right of religious people to believe any nonsense they choose to believe, but keep it in church and keep it out of my face. If the fucking evangelunicals are right, and if S-Rick wins the GOP nomination and subsequently the White House, he'll be in position to move the nation toward the Christian theocracy that his supporters dream about. That sucks.

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Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.