Friday, January 20, 2012

Newtie and the Blowfish, Part 4

Legend has it that the winner of the South Carolina GOP primary always goes on to win the party's nomination. It's part of the conventional wisdom that isn't exactly true, but some people believe it. Newtie Gingrich is one of them, and his ego, always inflated, is really puffed up because the polls are showing he has a real shot at winning on Saturday.

Newtie's ego is an issue because his self-esteem is starting to seem pathological. The fat turd has the potential to be the worst example of a loose cannon to ever occupy the White House. He brags about his grandiose ideas, most of which revolve around his plans to exercise unrestrained power as president.

Then there's the matter of his wife, the woman he was fucking while married to his second wife, the woman he was fucking while married to his first wife (the one with cancer). If Newt wins in November, his current wife will be America's Third Lady.

There are a lot of Republican assholes who list gay marriage, abortion and school prayer as three of the top four political issues. The dumbasses call themselves "values voters." If Newtie wins in November, I don't want to hear any more of their fucking crap about the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family unit.

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Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.