Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Standard Routine

One of many things we know about Ass Lube is that he's predictable, meaning he has very few tricks in his repertoire. We've seen this one repeatedly:

Ass Lube says or does something outrageous and disgusting, and it's widely reported.

Ass Lube: "Those accusations are lies, and I have proof which I'll make available soon."

Ass Lube's fans: "See, he's innocent. Damn liberal media."

The proof is never produced because it doesn't exist, but the trick works again and again because Ass Lube's fans are fucking morons, just like he is.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Add another name to the list...

Mary Tyler Moore. Chuck Berry. Glen Campbell. Don Williams. Harry Dean Stanton. Those are a few of the people who died this year who did more things to make my life happier than any motherfucking Republican asshole could even think about doing. Now we have to add Tom Petty's name to the list of the departed. Goddamn fuck.

Meanwhile, Pat Robertson lives on.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

The Price of Corruption

Tom Price, one of many rotten bastards the so-called precedent (sic) stuck in cabinet positions because he was too lazy and corrupt to choose highly qualified people instead, has resigned amid a scandal involving ripping off taxpayers. I would have preferred to see Price dragged out of his office in chains on his way to serve a life sentence in prison, but this'll have to do for now.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Dotard vs NFL

Whenever Donny Dotard wants to distract media attention from his endless political and legal problems, he holds a pep rally in some shit hole like Alabama, and starts tossing chunks of bloody meat to the worthless losers in the crowd. He spews a rant full of code words and dog whistles meant to whip his remaining fans into a frenzy over non-whites, non-christians, non-citizens, or all of the above.

His latest tiresome distraction involves athletes, pro football players in particular, who participate in silent protests against racial injustice by kneeling during the national anthem at games. Obviously, the only people who are falling for Donny's bullshit are assholes who think voting for the fat, ugly dotard was the best thing they ever did.

Added 12:05 PM Thursday 28 September: The bogus controversy stirred up by real estate salesman Donny Dotard is still getting media attention. There's a strong case to be made that Donny D. is the greatest threat to the United States in my lifetime, which makes his phony patriotism even more disgusting.

KEY FACT

Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.