Thursday, May 16, 2013


I bought my first home computer, an iMac, in November 2001, and have owned five Windows-based PCs since then. For nearly 12 years, I used my computer daily, often hourly, and never had any trouble with viruses. That changed Tuesday afternoon. My newest PC, an all-in-one desktop that I've fallen in love with, suddenly began behaving like a lunatic. I ran a quick system scan and discovered that a virus, possibly spyware, was lingering somewhere in the guts of the machine, and that I was in a potential high-risk situation.

I've lived a charmed life until now, and had fallen into the trap of thinking this was the kind of shit that always happened to other people. Now it's happened to me. If I was making the rules around here, people who hack into computers or infect them with viruses or other malware would find out that when they were caught, their punishment was death by beheading, the same as for child molesters.

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Dedicated to Jim Ferguson. If you don't know who Jim Ferguson is, you (a) haven't seen The Missouri Breaks, or (b) have an inadequate ability to fully assimilate movie trivia.